11,315 days old

It is my 31st birthday.  How is that even possible, I think to myself today.  When I was in my early twenties, I would have told you a list of things, goals, that I would accomplish around this time in my life.  It is amazing to watch those unfold, in Gods timely fashion...not precisely how I had planned or envisioned in my early years...but just as perfectly as ever.  I have wanted to be a mother my entire life. I always saw that as a large part of my grown up years.  Surrounded by children to smoother with love.  I first took a shot at it mothering my little sister, come to find out- I was much better at being her friend and supporter, than her rule maker.  Last weekend, Matt convinced me to schedule a 4D ultrasound appointment.  Beforehand, I was blase' about the whole experience, because honestly, I'll love her to pieces regardless of what she looks like, and who she favors...and I felt like I might not have the same level of excitement during the hospital stay, if I had a preview of what was to come.  Was I wrong....the experience and first sight of those lips, cheeks and little hands...I can't explain in words what they do to your heart.  It's an explosion really.  A love explosion that reaches far down into the depths of my soul...my mothering soul.  I want to kiss her 1 million times, and tell her how beautiful she is.  Tell her I will love her every. single. day. of her life.  Tell her that I will support her. Encourage her. Guide her.  I will try to not only be her mom, but at some point, when the time is right, will try my hardest to transition to her best friend.  My mom has been so amazing at that transition...in the mid 20's of life...making her even more irreplaceable.

So, happy birthday to me...what a joyous year this will be.